Saturday, October 5, 2019

Here I Am to Worship -- Tim Hughes


Englishman Tim Hughes was in or near the church he called home (in Hertfordshire County, England – see its flag here) just north of London, one day in 1999. He was a college student expecting to graduate soon, and had already captured the attention of a church leader there, so Tim might have had some reason to think of his own future and feel like he was walking in a spotlight. Yet, when he read some of his bible, he reflected instead upon the humility that God on earth had modeled for him, spurring this young worship leader to pen the words of “Here I Am to Worship” soon thereafter. The modesty that Tim grasped in this episode wasn’t just an intellectual idea or empty words; instead, the way the song he wrote evolved showed he had internalized what he’d read, and that he actually needed some prodding by others before taking further steps with what he’d written.

Tim Hughes was a 22-year old who showed patience in 1999, allowing his musical creation to mature over several months. And, it seems Tim is not a ‘fast-food’ type of musician, but knew where to go for the right type of nourishment needed for his song-writing meals. That place was his bible, and in the case of ‘Here I Am…’, he went to some verses that an Apostle wrote (Philippians 2: 5-11) to see what he could digest from this ancient piece of wisdom. Could it be that Tim was drawn to this spot because these words have a poetic character of their own, maybe indicative of a 1st Century hymn? Hughes does not indicate what motivated his reading that day, but says his own poetic response was meant to acknowledge the humility he saw Christ model for him. And yet, though some pretty special words of his own came spontaneously, Tim admits that others he originally penned did not touch his musical ear. And so, he sat on what he’d written for several months, until he could devise a chorus that seemed more apt for the song’s main verses. The church (Soul Survivor) where he ministered played a key role in what would happen next. Though hesitant, Tim was convinced by a pastor to sing his creation – and to keep singing it. Perhaps Tim’s own explanation of his attitude best explains why he was reluctant; he indicates that he wondered if he just didn’t know how to respond correctly at first, when confronted with Jesus’ sacrificial example. Was the connection to this Holy – and yet, sacrificed – Son too much to comprehend? In the end, Tim was the church’s worship leader, albeit at this young age, so perhaps he felt some obligation to guide the worshippers there, despite some self-doubt. You can still sense some of Tim’s feelings of inadequacy in the song’s bridge, where he writes that he’d ‘…never know how much it cost…’. And still, he continued to sing and introduce the song to audiences across the world, perhaps because he eventually realized something key. We’re all inadequate, including in our abilities to express our shortcomings.

‘It’s just part of being human’. One might imagine that Tim’s pastor could have said those words, or ones like them, to this young diffident musician. Tim was brave enough to read his bible, and then respond with many words, probably ones that the Spirit had given him, right? Because I’m human, and He’s spirit, there are many times – even most times? – that I’m not quite certain if I’ve produced something that meets His expectations. Frankly, it’s even more of a problem how I think my fellow earth-dwellers will react, though. Tim Hughes must have felt this way, at least a few times, especially given the vocation he has chosen. Not all one’s songs are Dove Award-winners – maybe just a bare few. That is just a reality of this side of life. Just wait until we get to the place where more doves abound!    




Biography of the author/composer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hughes

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