Englishman
Tim Hughes was in or near the church he called home (in Hertfordshire County,
England – see its flag here) just north of London, one day in 1999. He was a
college student expecting to graduate soon, and had already captured the
attention of a church leader there, so Tim might have had some reason to think
of his own future and feel like he was walking in a spotlight. Yet, when he
read some of his bible, he reflected instead upon the humility that God on
earth had modeled for him, spurring this young worship leader to pen the words of
“Here I Am to Worship” soon thereafter. The modesty that Tim grasped in this
episode wasn’t just an intellectual idea or empty words; instead, the way the
song he wrote evolved showed he had internalized what he’d read, and that he actually
needed some prodding by others before taking further steps with what he’d written.
Tim Hughes
was a 22-year old who showed patience in 1999, allowing his musical creation to
mature over several months. And, it seems Tim is not a ‘fast-food’ type of
musician, but knew where to go for the right type of nourishment needed for his
song-writing meals. That place was his bible, and in the case of ‘Here I Am…’,
he went to some verses that an Apostle wrote (Philippians 2: 5-11) to see what
he could digest from this ancient piece of wisdom. Could it be that Tim was
drawn to this spot because these words have a poetic character of their own, maybe
indicative of a 1st Century hymn? Hughes does not indicate what
motivated his reading that day, but says his own poetic response was meant to acknowledge
the humility he saw Christ model for him. And yet, though some pretty special words
of his own came spontaneously, Tim admits that others he originally penned did not
touch his musical ear. And so, he sat on what he’d written for several months,
until he could devise a chorus that seemed more apt for the song’s main verses.
The church (Soul Survivor) where he ministered played a key role in what would
happen next. Though hesitant, Tim was convinced by a pastor to sing his creation
– and to keep singing it. Perhaps Tim’s own explanation of his attitude best
explains why he was reluctant; he indicates that he wondered if he just didn’t
know how to respond correctly at first, when confronted with Jesus’ sacrificial
example. Was the connection to this Holy – and yet, sacrificed – Son too much
to comprehend? In the end, Tim was the church’s worship leader, albeit at this
young age, so perhaps he felt some obligation to guide the worshippers there, despite
some self-doubt. You can still sense some of Tim’s feelings of inadequacy in
the song’s bridge, where he writes that he’d ‘…never know how much it cost…’. And
still, he continued to sing and introduce the song to audiences across the world,
perhaps because he eventually realized something key. We’re all inadequate, including
in our abilities to express our shortcomings.
‘It’s just
part of being human’. One might imagine that Tim’s pastor could have said those
words, or ones like them, to this young diffident musician. Tim was brave
enough to read his bible, and then respond with many words, probably ones that
the Spirit had given him, right? Because I’m human, and He’s spirit, there are
many times – even most times? – that I’m not quite certain if I’ve produced something
that meets His expectations. Frankly, it’s even more of a problem how I think
my fellow earth-dwellers will react, though. Tim Hughes must have felt this
way, at least a few times, especially given the vocation he has chosen. Not all
one’s songs are Dove Award-winners – maybe just a bare few. That is just a reality
of this side of life. Just wait until we get to the place where more doves
abound!
See also
here: https://www.crosswalk.com/church/worship/song-story-here-i-am-to-worship-1227531.html
Biography
of the author/composer: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tim_Hughes
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