I Will Never Be the Same -- Geoff Bullock

 

Geoff Bullock was almost certainly in transition mode, though he may not have fully appreciated what that would entail as the next several months transpired. In 1995, he wrote “I Will Never Be the Same”, a statement he undoubtedly made while thinking of his spiritual health, though he doesn’t share precisely what motivated his songwriting in this particular case. Geoff was also perhaps beginning to sense that things were about to change for himself, in more than one way, so if he was reflecting something that he was feeling on several levels, that would be understandable. He’d been the worship minister for several years, after being one of a team of people that established what would later become the Hillsong Church in Sydney, Australia, a church that mushroomed into a megachurch in the 1980s and ‘90s. Perhaps that atmosphere and its impact were what had Geoff feeling a bit overwhelmed by the mid-1990s, by his own admission. He’d been the guy who had arranged their annual worship conferences since 1987, so when he eventually left in late 1995, there was a lot of personal momentum that came to a halt, though he could not change what – and who -- had already affected him permanently. God had his own purposes, as Geoff later told someone, though he remained somewhat in the dark about the events of the mid-1990s.

 

“I Will Never…” was set to be recorded live at Hillsong in the latter part of 1995, as part of the album “Shout to the Lord”, when Geoff departed from the project and the church abruptly, an episode that left many wondering what had happened. Geoff admitted in an interview nearly 10 years hence that he’d become ‘burnt out’, and that he felt at the time that God was telling him to go. Looking back, he wasn’t so sure anymore, but said he just needed to work on himself for a time. Eventually, his marriage would end (in 1996) following his departure from Hillsong, and he found himself also dealing with various mental health symptoms that would later be characterized as bipolarity. Despite his health challenges, which he didn’t completely comprehend in 1995, Geoff continued to write songs and lead the worship conference, even as a widening gap between how he felt about his ability and how others looked upon him began to develop. From his own comments, one cannot really identify all of the details of Geoff’s insides, though his lyrics do indicate he was an inward-looking songwriter, trying to be responsive to what his Creator was telling him. Introspection was an essential part of what drove Geoff’s spirit. That’s what comes through clearly in ‘I Will Never…’, as Geoff writes about his being unable ‘to return’, and ‘closing the door’ (v.1), but nevertheless trying to answer what he felt God was prompting him to do. ‘I’ll walk the path, I’ll run the race’ (v.1), he said; and then, he sounds like he’s really relishing the life God has for him, even if events ‘fall like fire’, ‘soak like rain’, and ‘rush like mighty waters’, to turn things upside down or inside out – to ‘sweep away…darkness’, burn away…chaff’, in order to ‘glorify (God’s) name’ (v.2). Geoff stood ready to climb ‘higher heights’, and navigate ‘deeper seas’, because he was willing to do ‘…whatever’ (v.3). Geoff didn’t mind if all this changed him irrevocably. He was going wherever and whenever God said ‘go’.

 

Geoff Bullock could not have been entirely content with what happened to himself in the mid-1990s – who could, if they had been in his shoes? But, feeling that God’s prodding you toward something – that was part of the Hillsong church’s neo-Pentecostal atmosphere and message. Experience God at a deep, personal level. Listening to Him, then, was a habit that Geoff would not change, even while his own personal struggles and relationship breakups seemed to complicate matters. Did Geoff reason that a good God doesn’t sabotage a seeker’s life, at least not with some other purpose in mind? Other historical characters must have wondered at times, too -- guys like Joseph, who landed in prison once; and Paul whose life also did a 180-degree turn and landed him in trouble more than once. Makes you wonder what God is doing, sometimes. But Geoff and the others did not stop in the valleys, and neither should we.                

 

Read about the songwriter here:  Geoff Bullock - Wikipedia

 

The song appears on this album, recorded in 1995: Shout to the Lord (album) - Wikipedia

 

Read more about the songwriter here: Geoff Bullock: No Longer the Golden Boy | ChristianToday Australia

 

See information on the flag of Australia here: File:Flag of Australia (converted).svg - Wikimedia Commons.  This image is protected by Crown Copyright because it is owned by the Australian Government or that of the states or territories, and is in the public domain because it was created or published prior to 1974 and the copyright has therefore expired. The government of Australia has declared that the expiration of Crown Copyrights applies worldwide.

I Will Rise -- Louis Giglio, Chris Tomlin, Matt Maher, Jesse Reeves

 

He was thinking musically of a moment unlike any other that will fully define and culminate all of human history. Chris Tomlin says his friend Louis Giglio gave him a mission to sing something like that. So, Chris, evidently with the help of two other friends, Matt Maher and Jesse Reeves, used Louis’s charge and a one-liner that he said he couldn’t shake, to say “I Will Rise” in 2008. So many masterpiece artists have taken on this same mission with the paintbrush, which Chris and his friends alternately articulated in their music. See the Noel Coypel work of art here (painted in 1700), which only attempts to show, but cannot possibly depict with full appreciation, the stunning moment when Jesus arose from death, terrifying those nearby with how He overcame the grave. What a moment! Maybe if you and I combine looking at something like this painting and singing the song by Chris and friends, we might come just a little closer to reality. We all need hope in that most difficult moment, when we’re staring at the grave.

 

Chris shares that he was having lunch with Louis when the toughest part of life came up in the conversation. It happens to all of us, eventually, and maybe you’ve also been in Louis’s shoes, having a heart-to-heart with a friend over a meal. He was still bereaved over his father’s recent death, and while scriptures like Psalm 46 – with the line ‘Be still and know that I am God’ – provided solace, he asked Chris to write something new, a song that would echo that old hymn ‘It Is Well (With My Soul)’ (by Horatio Spafford, see 5/31/2014 blog entry). That one line that Louis said was stuck in his brain was this: The grave is overwhelmed. Chris says his goal was to gird the spirits of people like Louis who’ve lost someone, by singing about how mortal death is not the final chapter. Death cannot be overcome any other way, except by knowing it is not the end, it’s just an interlude. No doubt, Chris and his friends had read other scriptures (in addition to Psalm 46) to salve a broken spirit. Jesus also had moments when he felt bereaved, including over his friend Lazarus and the woe that others around Him felt (Luke 11: 33-35). The poignancy got to Him…He was really human. But, unlike us, He has already experienced that death-conquering moment, and He’s the ‘firstborn’ (Colossians 1:18; Revelation 1:5), preparing to lead the army of believers into eternity. That’s got to be worth a ‘hallelujah!’, and more than one. So, that’s what Louis and Chris thought about, that there needs to be more than Horatio Spafford’s song (and others that have been written) to remind us, to re-christen that hope that lies within. Jesus rose, and so will I. That brings a ‘peace’, an ‘anchor’, and a ‘victory’, all contained in this new ‘hallelujah’ song to prompt the believer that those are available even now, before this death interlude ensues.  

 

So, you’re sitting in the funeral home, just trying to get through that gloomy episode. Been there? No one likes to remember, but somehow those memories don’t fade very easily. I still remember the minister saying that death and what follows is an appointment (Acts 17:31). That passage moment won’t last forever, and then at some point I will go on to another place. It can be scary, terrifying. Even Jesus said that He felt forsaken (Matthew 27:46; Mark 15:34), and that must have been the lowest point for Him and those who stood watching and listening. But, this same God has Spafford, and Tomlin and friends, and so many other writers and artists depict the scene three days hence, also. Someone has summed up Revelation and the end this way: God wins. Choose a side. Don’t be stupid! Don’t get trapped dwelling on the interlude, the passageway, that appointment with death, unless you also imprint Louis’s line onto your brain waves, and into your heart. The grave is overwhelmed. And add the exclamation mark (!) also. Feel free to use more than one…like this !!!!  

 

 

Read the song story here: I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin - Songfacts

 

Read some more about the song’s story here: The Meaning Behind The Song: I Will Rise by Louie Giglio - Old Time Music

 

Another source of the song story is here: Chris Tomlin talks about "I Will Rise" (youtube.com)

 

See information about the image of Christ’s Resurrection here: File:Noel-coypel-the-resurrection-of-christ-1700.jpg - Wikimedia Commons . This work is in the public domain in its country of origin and other countries and areas where the copyright term is the author's life plus 100 years or fewer.  {{PD-US}} – US work that is in the public domain in the US for an unspecified reason, but presumably because it was published in the US before 1929.

Lord, Have Mercy -- Steve Merkel

 

Steve Merkel seems to remember something started to sprout within himself in Poland, of all places, in the late 1980s. (See a seal of Poland here.) Like a new plant, it was really almost unnoticeable in its embryonic stage, but what he experienced there did not expire when he returned home. The Catholic worship that focuses on liturgy might seem like a mere mechanical exercise, but Steve says he felt something was budding, a bridge between his own Protestant background and that of his Catholic friends. It was a window that opened while he helped guide worship among some Catholic believers in Poland, where something like 70% of its citizens claim Roman Catholicism as their guide. Even while Steve set about making an album years later, he had continued to guide Protestant worship on Sundays, but also had related to his Catholic worshiping friends during the week. And, not unexpectedly, Steve’s close contact with his close Catholic friends gave him insights and inspiration that would help him reach deeper inside himself, to express more confession to and reliance on the God he’d known for some time. Appropriately, he was working on a large project he called Renewal Music, and the particular album that this new song inhabited was named Intimate Worship.

 

Perhaps what drew Steve’s attention most was the perspective a good friend (David Kauffman) shared with him one day about the differences between the music of Catholics versus Protestants. The former tended to focus more on confession and submission and dependence on Him, while the latter were more likely to approach God confidently. Steve indicates he felt convicted as he pondered these words, thereby spawning lyrics in ‘Lord, Have Mercy’ that echoed and built upon the song’s title. He says that long-time believers especially need to revisit the time when they were brand-new Christians who still identified themselves as weak, needy sinners, acknowledging that they needed a forbearing and understanding God. ‘Take off that mask’, Steve might say to sum up what he wanted to emphasize. At the same time, Steve says he was seeking to offer something new for his Catholic friends who were accustomed to liturgy in their experience, what they themselves would say was the ceremonial mass. Had it grown stale, we might ask? Steve doesn’t address that question directly, but certainly many Protestants might say (at least this blogger does) that on occasion, our worship songs can become so familiar that we drift into remote control. Steve thought both groups could ‘…intersect at the cross..’, where we can all recognize our humanity in the shadow of His sacrifice, and then seek to pass along this attitude to a world that still needs to know Him.

 

Dim, forgotten, doubting, unbelief…those are just a few potent words that Steve used in verse 1 to underscore the confession part of this attitude he sought to persuade others to adopt. Mercy -- a characteristic of Him who alone can dispense it to me, the often-wayward, disobedient creature He made – is what Steve has the worshipper cry a total of 20 times in this song. Is that enough? It’s as if Steve is underscoring for you and me that inescapable nature – human = imperfect. It doesn’t matter if I’m Protestant or Catholic, Islamic or Hindu, Jew or Buddhist, Baha’i or Sikh, or Zoroastrian or Mormon. Has anyone cornered the market on perfection? What about the Agnostic or Atheist…can they escape being human? Steve’s song has a second message, one that should resonate with all of us, deep down when we dare to look. God = mercy.

     

Read the brief song story here:  The Story Behind the Song Lord Have Mercy | PraiseCharts;  See it here also: Lord, Have Mercy | Hymnary.org;  and, here also: Stories behind songs that changed the way we worship | ChristianToday Australia

 

Read a longer version of the story here: Song Story: (crosswalk.com)

 

Read about Poland’s dominant faith here: Poland - Wikipedia

 

See information on the seal of Poland here: File:Herb Polski.svg - Wikimedia Commons. This image is in the public domain according to Article 4, case 2 of the Polish Copyright Law Act of February 4, 1994 (Dz. U. z 2022 r. poz. 2509 with later changes) "normative acts and drafts thereof as well as official documents, materials, signs and symbols are not subject to copyrights". Hence it is assumed that this image has been released into public domain. However in some instances the use of this image in Poland might be regulated by other laws.