He’d begun a new life five years previously, but was still
at the beginning of his music ministry life. The 29-year Dennis Jernigan was sorting
through a past that still brought back memories, and as he pondered his next
steps while living in Oklahoma, “I Am a Sheep” flowed from his spirit in 1988. It
was a sense of his relationship to the Creator-Protector that he still remembered
over two decades later, as he testified in a video to help his own children who
were apparently heartbroken over something. That microcosm of Dennis’ life
tells us something – incidents and feelings that are decades old can still be
used by Him to salve hurts. Is that part of why we so often have difficult
experiences?
Dennis Jernigan had plenty of experiences to draw upon, even
as a 29-year old, which you can read from his own pen at his website (see
below). His past homosexuality is something he shares openly, as he seeks to
help others see how he was transformed—or rather, WHO transformed him. By 1988,
he and his wife Melinda had been married five years and had children, so all his
past was forgotten and buried, right? No way, Dennis would say. In fact, in
mid-1988 he felt the great need to confess all of his life to the church where
he was ministering. His compulsion to do so was probably reflected in what we
can see in “I Am a Sheep”, in that he felt He was with him to cover his guilt
and permit him to share what he had not shared before. Dennis’ use of words
like ‘watching’, ‘guarding’, ‘shelter’, ‘rescue’, and ‘victory’ indicate how he
felt at the time, though still reminded of his past. A great protection was
available to him. The Protector in fact had been with him even during his ‘dark’
years, Dennis will tell you. Jernigan also writes that there were new vistas he
gained after he opened up about his life in July 1988. His example coaxed
others to also expose the dark areas of their lives. The next year he also
learned that God had begun this great work on him while he was still a child, as
his grandmother watched and prayed over him. So, it was with a deep sense of
personal gratitude and reflection across decades of his life when Dennis first
sang ‘He is my shepherd’, learning of the various ways this relationship had
been manifested in his experience, and
the new ways it was developing too.
He shepherds me, not just to shield me from my past, but to
use that to transform and reenergize my existence today. You can hear this in
Dennis’ words – the sheltering, guarding scope of God’s role leads to ‘victory’
in the culmination of “I Am a Sheep”. The experience of Dennis Jernigan in 1988
tells me that he found his shepherd is not only a protector, but also a
propeller. He knew that God had watched
over him, but this 29-year old composer also felt He was urging him to acknowledge
his experiences openly. He had more in His plans for Dennis and those He could
touch. In 2010, Dennis still knew that, as he drew upon the song’s message for
his own children’s struggle. Do you think Dennis and Melinda Jernigan knew how
to guard and help their kids in 2010? They had a pretty good idea, don’t you
think?
Some biographical
information on Dennis Jernigan:
websites:
What
Dennis says about this song in a U-Tube video in 2010: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP7BxLcJRSQ
And,
see this book: Giant Killers:
Crushing Strongholds , Securing Freedom in Your Life, by Dennis Jernigan.
WaterBrook Press, 2005.
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