Draw Me Close -- Kelly Carpenter

 

He was feeling overwhelmed, and was ready to chuck all that he was doing if that would allow himself to return to a closer place with God. “Draw Me Close”, Kelly Carpenter prayed one Sunday in his Kirkland, Washington home (northeast of Seattle, see the map here that highlights King County, in which Kirkland lies) in January 1994. Ironically, Kelly was involved with a worship and music ministry at the church that he and his wife loved, but that circumstance did not necessarily guarantee his spirit was in tune with the One he was trying to serve. Kelly had known for many years that music was his purpose, particularly since he had rededicated himself to Christianity over a decade earlier. So, what could possibly be wrong with an apparent calling that had him on a trajectory that he had been seeking for some time? Was his position just too much, too soon? Whose purpose was Kelly really serving in January 1994?

 

Perhaps it was a growing sense of unease that had been gnawing at Kelly Carpenter over the previous 18 months, as he breathed in exasperation one Sunday in January 1994. If his job had been strictly the music that he had wanted to write and perform, Kelly might have felt differently. But, organizing and directing all of the various parts of the worship ministry at a church of several hundred people was beginning to wear on him. How was he supposed to be a pastor to people? Kelly was leaning on his wife (Merrilyn) for help, but he still felt like an obsession with accomplishing all that was on the ministry’s plate was becoming too normal. Had this same phenomenon contributed to the previous minister’s departure? Kelly wondered if he was actually going to fail at this, as he also lamented a noticeable gap growing wider between God and himself. The shine had worn off of the enthusiasm he had once felt for serving in the kingdom, and he wanted to recapture that. He says that one line in the lyrics he composed – in just 20 or 30 minutes, with no changes made later – conveyed the heart of the matter. He’d ‘lay it all down…to be (His, God’s) friend again’. The only person he was interested in pleasing, in that moment sitting at his piano keyboard, was the Lord. Yeh, he was a pastor, but he realized that his connection to God was paramount. He was like a psalmist who had been cut to the heart, like one who was longing for water in a desert. Kelly’s ancient songwriting ancestor, David, had made similar entreaties to God – ‘As the deer pants for …water, so my soul pants for you, my God. (Psalm 42:1) Or, how about when David cried out to God because he acknowledged how far he’d strayed from Him – ‘Restore to me the joy of your salvation and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.’ (Psalm 51:12) Kelly’s opening lyrics-song title sounded a lot like a contemporary David, longing to be in God’s embrace once more.

 

Kelly’s testimony says something pretty key for all of us fallible creatures, including ministers/pastors, whom unknowing church members sometimes place on pedestals. We can all get too caught up in our human endeavors, even ones in a church. It’s supposed to be all about Him, isn’t it? If what someone or some circumstance wants from me seems like too much for me to handle, what happens? STRESS, in big capital letters that can cast shadows too tall and darken my spirit. Yes, some things need to get done, and I need to be intentional about working diligently in what He’s given me to do. And if I have found His work energizes and helps fulfill my life, I can enjoy His life flowing through me as His tool. But, even ones chosen by God need help, especially in long-term efforts. Remember how Moses’ father-in-law Jethro advised him once (Exodus 18:13-26)? Get some help, share the load, and you’ll serve God and the people more effectively. God gives in many ways, including putting Merrilyn close to Kelly Carpenter to help him share the load. And, He also gave Kelly a sensation that something was still amiss, and a song that drew him back to his Maker and Sustainer. Does Kelly’s message speak to you, you stressed-out worker, today?        

 

 

See the story of the song in the books Celebrate Jesus: The Stories Behind Your Favorite Praise and Worship Songs, by Phil Christensen and Shari MacDonald, Kregel Publications, 2003; and, I Could Sing of Your Love Forever, by Lindsay Terry, Thomas Nelson publishers, 2008 

 

See the story of the song shared here also: Song Story:

 

See the story here also: Draw Me Close Meeting Place

 

See the composer-author perform the song here: Kelly Carpenter sings "Draw Me Close"

 

See information on the image here: File:Map of Washington highlighting King County.svg - Wikimedia Commons….the owner of the image has issued the following statement: I, the copyright holder of this work, release this work into the public domain. This applies worldwide. In some countries this may not be legally possible; if so:I grant anyone the right to use this work for any purpose, without any conditions, unless such conditions are required by law.

O Lord, You're Beautiful -- Keith Green

 

It was a prayer in the middle of a sleepless night, and the result of this episode was one that Keith Green wasn’t afraid to share. (This most likely took place in Garden Valley TX [Smith County], where the Greens’ [Keith and Melody] Last Days Ministries was located in 1980.) He’d said “Oh Lord, You’re Beautiful”, and yet that compliment to God was not the entirety of what he had to say in this prayer. Keith also confessed some things, admitting that there were gaps in his devotion to the One who created and saved him. Adoration, and confession, and finally supplication were also present in Keith’s approach, so apparently he had three of the four letters in the ACTS acronym that so many believers have used to help organize and guide their thoughts to Him. What about thanksgiving, the ‘T’ part? Did Keith fail at prayer because this part seems to be absent from what he wrote, or are we just overlooking that part, somehow? Perhaps the ‘T’ part is the music-making with which Keith responded, taking a page from the psalmists: I will praise God’s name in song and glorify him with thanksgiving (Psalm 69:30); Let us come before him with thanksgiving and extol him with music and song (Psalm 95:2). Giving back a song to Him who gave it – thanksgiving can indeed be reciprocal with this One we worship.

 

So, what exactly was keeping 27-year-old Keith Green up on a Monday night, a struggle that he had with something that would not allow him to rest? You can listen for yourself, by clicking on the youtube link below, or alternately read here a brief transcription (more or less) of what he says in the first minute of a performance of ‘Oh Lord…’. He says his prayer, beginning about midnight, was like a letter to the Lord. He didn’t know where to mail it, so he put it in his bible instead. And what was in this letter? He asked God to do something about his heart, because a lot of time had passed since he had met the Lord, and his heart was beginning to harden. This condition was becoming too natural, and Keith wanted to have ‘baby skin’ again, on his heart. He could already feel the inevitable advance of age, that he was getting old and wrinkled, with a callousness that had formed. He wasn’t really doing anything wrong, but he was more distressed because of the things he wasn’t doing. So, he stayed up until about 2:00 AM writing the song. The words he wrote in that two-hour span show he felt ‘tired’ (v.2); that his ‘faith (was) small’ (v.3), and that he’d ignored God’s ‘book of books’, and ‘prayer’ (v.3); and that he needed his ‘fire’ to be re-lit (v.4). He repeats in a chorus that he aspired to sharing God’s word, but that he needed ‘first…to just live it’.

 

We could gather from what Keith wrote, as the title words for this song-prayer indicate, that he had discovered God was with him. Keith might have sounded like a faith-struggler, but that did not seem to have diminished his view or desire to reacquaint himself with the God he knew was listening to him. Perhaps Keith had, during the first few moments when he first knew Him, saved this sensation, like keeping a special secret in a bottle. In 1980, it sounds as if Keith remembered this and had called from inside his own spirit for a renewal – like uncorking the bottle and letting the genie-God out to reform his spirit again. Keith’s life journey had not been smooth – from belief and musical success in his early youth, then to drugs and eastern mysticism as a teenager, and finally returning to Christ in the early 1970s – so one can really appreciate Keith’s expression of what he saw. He’d lived on the ‘other side’, one might say, so could that have magnified his gratitude for the God he could re-envision in 1980? Keith tragically died in 1982 in a plane crash with 11 others, two years after he wrote ‘O Lord…’. What might he say to you and me today? He might not recommend for you and me this circuitous route to God that he traveled, but Keith might respond that he was just a little bit like Jacob – a wrestler with God (Genesis 32:22-32). How about you…are you wrestling with Him?

 

 

Hear the author-composer tell the song’s story here, in the first minute of the song’s performance: Keith Green - Oh, Lord You're Beautiful (Live) (youtube.com)

 

Read about the author-composer here: Keith Green - Wikipedia

 

See information here about the map of Texas highlighting Smith County: File:Map of Texas highlighting Smith County.svg - Wikimedia Commons…the copyright holder of the image has stated the following: I, the copyright holder of this work, release this work into the public domain. This applies worldwide. In some countries this may not be legally possible; if so:I grant anyone the right to use this work for any purpose, without any conditions, unless such conditions are required by law.

Heart of a Servant -- Michael Puryear

 

When was it that God became real to you? If you ask Michael Puryear, he might just pinpoint that time, and then go one step further. Looking at how Michael chose to mark that occasion, how many of us could say that we similarly asked God, through a song, to put inside of us a “Heart of a Servant”? Nashville, Tennessee is a musical place (see its seal here), so that melodic gene was certainly all around Michael, was inside the church where he worshipped, and was permeating his own spirit, too. For Michael, the simple prayer song that he composed in or about 1992 summed up what he was experiencing with the newfound realization of God’s calling. What Michael prayed is like asking the Creator to build a small eternal flame inside one’s being, so that it acts like a perpetual engine with a constant light to show others the nature of the One who gives it. Its fiery presence, you might say, has consumed Michael’s life through all the music he’s been able to write in the decades before and after this special moment. This way of being consumed doesn’t destroy, but actually remakes a person.

 

Michael Puryear’s few words say volumes – so read and hear them for yourself, as he responded to this blogger’s email recently:  David, it (Heart of a Servant) was written soon after reaching a point that Christ became more than real to me. I was going to Ashwood Church of Christ (Nashville area) and wanted to basically write something that was meaningful and could be a worship tool.  The song seems to get to the core belief of Faith and the reason for being a follower of our Savior. Did you notice that Michael said ‘Christ became more than real’ to him? So, it wasn’t just a notable moment for this songwriter, but an extraordinary moment, when he suggests that Jesus was so present, that this God-Man could not be ignored. His own servant nature must have been so abundantly evident, that Michael wanted to mimic Him and urge others to do the same, in order to exalt Him adequately. Jesus deserves something ‘meaningful’, as Michael’s own words testify. What is at the ‘core’ of our faith? Michael must have been wondering, as others do when they first meet this One who claims to be God, then become more familiar with Him, and finally reach a crossroads – a decision point. If He’s really God, and really did behave like the ultimate servant, just to draw me into His saving life, how can I resist? Maybe Michael read what Paul wrote to some Philippians (2:1-11), or perhaps one or more other similar biblical odes –  with a musical edge to them -- as they venerate this servant Savior. If you love music the way Michael obviously does, what better way to amplify His hold on you than to appreciate Him via what He says through His musical messages in scripture?

 

He’s a beautiful God, and so it really makes sense that He tugs at us as though he’s gently strumming the strings of a guitar or tickling the keys of a piano. He’s not loud and obnoxious, but rather a servant, coaxing you and me with His loving, sacrificial nature. Michael describes this servant as tender, faithful, and true with the few words he crafted, as an echo of what Paul and others say about Him. But, don’t just stand there admiring Him. Imitate Him, and understand that you’re His tool for the community that He’s creating. What? I’m not equipped to do that! But, He provides the only thing you need – Himself, and the love example He provides. It will be some kingdom when we all see it, each other, and especially Him there! This kingdom of His has no perimeter fence to limit its membership. He wants the whole world, and you and I can begin this quest in our own small corners where we live.     

 

Thanks to Michael Puryear for his emails to this blogger on 9/3/2024 and 9/4/2024!

 

Read about the author-composer here: Michael Puryear | Belmont University

 

Read about the Ashwood Church and its predecessors and how it has evolved since 1992 here: https://www.woodmont.org/our-history

 

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