Shall I Crucify My Savior? -- Carrie Elizabeth Ellis Breck

How could a 41-year old housewife and mother be of a mind to kill another person? Someone might have had that question mark about Carrie Elizabeth Ellis Breck, upon reading the text of a poem she crafted and labeled “Shall I Crucify My Savior?” She was a devout Christian, a model of the Christian wife, in fact. Really, the only mildly offensive characteristic of Carrie Breck might have been the sound of her singing voice -- hardly a criminal offense.  Was there a hidden life, some furtive element that she wanted to confess as she penned the words of this hymn in 1896? And how might she commit such a felony, this woman whose frequent posture in a rocking chair with a child (like one seen here) was hardly menacing?

That Carrie Breck became the author of so many songs for Christian believers to learn is at once a startling, yet conceivable fact when her biography is opened. Her faith was nurtured initially by parents, and indeed the artistic derivative of these beliefs undoubtedly developed when she was young. She wrote poetry even as a youngster, much of which was published. Yet, her ‘voice’ would be limited to that heard through her pen, since the audible tones she could make were most often off-key. This irony—that a hymn-writer lacked the melodic gift, pleasing to the ear—evidently did not discourage Carrie, however. Her 2,000 poems indicate she was blessed with rhythm, if not the vocal musical expression of them to match. Her role as a wife and mother also reportedly restricted her artistry for a period after her 1884 marriage. But, she must have adjusted, for it’s said she generated some of her thoughts during this period while engaged in household tasks, or perhaps as she took a breather and sat with a child on her knee. “Shall I Crucify…?” was evidently so-conceived by this middle-aged New Jersey mom and homemaker. But, her mood at the time of the hymn remains invisible, except for what she reveals in her words. What was happening that made her so sensitive to her Savior’s welfare? Was it something she confronted often in her lyrical conscience?

Carrie Breck’s faith, if it was like others’, must have compelled some self-examination at times. She does not explicitly answer her own musical question, but we can presume she’d already inwardly responded by posing this troubling proposition. How did Carrie crucify Jesus, someone she professed to love and follow?  She implies she had dishonored his name (v.1), paid more attention to the world’s lures (v.2) , and with her human nature driven him to Golgotha (v.3). What’s a housewife’s life got to do with killing the Lord? It seems she felt that she hadn’t kept Him in His rightful place. When I flunk at this, as Carrie must have felt, I find the fallout is that I also fail--miserably—at human-to-human relations. Get it right with Him first, she might say. Think that might make my human links better, too? It’s worth the attempt.     

See these websites for brief biography: http://www.hymntime.com/tch/bio/b/r/e/breck_cee.htm

http://www.hymnary.org/person/Breck_Carrie

 

Some biographic information on the composer was also obtained from the books  “Amazing Grace – 366 Inspiring Hymn Stories for Daily Devotions”, by Kenneth W. Osbeck, 1990, Kregel Publications; and “The Complete Book of Hymns – Inspiring Stories About 600 Hymns and Praise Songs”, by William J. and Ardythe Petersen, 2006, Tyndale House Publishers, Inc.