Thursday, October 2, 2014

I Am a Sheep -- Dennis Jernigan



He’d begun a new life five years previously, but was still at the beginning of his music ministry life. The 29-year Dennis Jernigan was sorting through a past that still brought back memories, and as he pondered his next steps while living in Oklahoma, “I Am a Sheep” flowed from his spirit in 1988. It was a sense of his relationship to the Creator-Protector that he still remembered over two decades later, as he testified in a video to help his own children who were apparently heartbroken over something. That microcosm of Dennis’ life tells us something – incidents and feelings that are decades old can still be used by Him to salve hurts. Is that part of why we so often have difficult experiences?

Dennis Jernigan had plenty of experiences to draw upon, even as a 29-year old, which you can read from his own pen at his website (see below). His past homosexuality is something he shares openly, as he seeks to help others see how he was transformed—or rather, WHO transformed him. By 1988, he and his wife Melinda had been married five years and had children, so all his past was forgotten and buried, right? No way, Dennis would say. In fact, in mid-1988 he felt the great need to confess all of his life to the church where he was ministering. His compulsion to do so was probably reflected in what we can see in “I Am a Sheep”, in that he felt He was with him to cover his guilt and permit him to share what he had not shared before. Dennis’ use of words like ‘watching’, ‘guarding’, ‘shelter’, ‘rescue’, and ‘victory’ indicate how he felt at the time, though still reminded of his past. A great protection was available to him. The Protector in fact had been with him even during his ‘dark’ years, Dennis will tell you. Jernigan also writes that there were new vistas he gained after he opened up about his life in July 1988. His example coaxed others to also expose the dark areas of their lives. The next year he also learned that God had begun this great work on him while he was still a child, as his grandmother watched and prayed over him. So, it was with a deep sense of personal gratitude and reflection across decades of his life when Dennis first sang ‘He is my shepherd’, learning of the various ways this relationship had been  manifested in his experience, and the new ways it was developing too.

He shepherds me, not just to shield me from my past, but to use that to transform and reenergize my existence today. You can hear this in Dennis’ words – the sheltering, guarding scope of God’s role leads to ‘victory’ in the culmination of “I Am a Sheep”.  The experience of Dennis Jernigan in 1988 tells me that he found his shepherd is not only a protector, but also a propeller.  He knew that God had watched over him, but this 29-year old composer also felt He was urging him to acknowledge his experiences openly. He had more in His plans for Dennis and those He could touch. In 2010, Dennis still knew that, as he drew upon the song’s message for his own children’s struggle. Do you think Dennis and Melinda Jernigan knew how to guard and help their kids in 2010? They had a pretty good idea, don’t you think?

 Some biographical information on Dennis Jernigan:
websites:
What Dennis says about this song in a U-Tube video in 2010: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qP7BxLcJRSQ
And, see this book:  Giant Killers: Crushing Strongholds , Securing Freedom in Your Life, by Dennis Jernigan. WaterBrook Press, 2005.

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